


The End

by Smidge



Category: Doctor Who RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-26
Updated: 2013-09-26
Packaged: 2017-12-27 17:34:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/981708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smidge/pseuds/Smidge
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spoilers! ;)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The End

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I wrote this literally the day after the One Show episode with Alex in - when she talked about the news of Matt leaving Doctor Who and a bit about Macbeth (which I still can't believe I saw - omg!) And I have absolutely no idea why I haven't put it up on here - I actually double checked everything I have written on here to make sure I hadn't put it under another name...but it's definitely not here!
> 
> So, here it is now and I am so very sorry for it's tardiness (ooh that word is so close to another, awesome word ;) - take out the 'n.e.s.').
> 
> Dialogue at the beginning all thanks to the One Show - other than that this entire fic is completely made up.
> 
> Enjoy x

“Now, were you surprised by his announcement that he is going to leave at the end of this...?”

“Um...I wasn’t surprised - because he and I had had a chat about...”

“Ooh?”

“... _potential_...”

“How long ago did you have that chat...?”

“Oh I-I’m not saying how long ago...”

“Ha alright...”

“Spoilers!”

She was sitting on her sofa, nursing a glass of wine as she watched over the one show. Her brow furrowed as she re-wound and re-watched the beginning part of her interview over and over. She is sure she didn’t give anything away about the show – yes she probably shouldn’t have added that bit about not being able to kiss Dame Helen Mirren as that kind of suggested she was still likely to be kissing the doctor and therefore sort of hinting that River Song has more to come.

But she was more worried about having given away anything to do with her relationship with Matt. They have been together for just over a year now and nobody knows; not even their families. She is just a little concerned that everyone watching the one show that night will have seen straight through her.

She knew she would be asked about him as his decision to leave Doctor Who was hot news, but she’s not sure she meant for her answer to come out quite like it did. She seemed so casual about it, like, of course they would have talked about it; they’re together for goodness sakes, they talk about _everything, it’s just ‘pillow talk’ to them_.

When they had asked ‘how long ago’ they had that chat she had taken the question to mean more, i.e. where and when and give us all the sordid details. Of course they were only curious as to how long he had been contemplating the move, but she had to go and be over-defensive, and then using her famous ‘spoilers’ phrase to lighten the situation probably just confirmed the viewers suspicions.

Her lips are sealed; she’s not saying a thing – because what they are probably thinking...is most likely true.

And of course as she answered she was indeed thinking about the night in which they did discuss his leaving the show – if anyone could have read her mind at that moment, they would have been outed.

 

_“Matt,” she opens her trailer door to him, surprise and joy overwhelming her. “What are you doing here?”_

_“I came to see my gorgeous girlfriend,” he whispers in her ear as he steps over the threshold, removing his coat and hanging it up like it’s the most natural thing for him to do._

_Alex giggles and closes the door. They have been together almost a year and the idea of being his ‘girlfriend’ still seems odd to her. She’s too old to be his_ girlfriend _although she’s not really sure what else to call it. Sometimes it still surprises her that he is with her; he’s so young and talented and brilliant, he could have anyone he wanted, and yet, he’s settled for her._

_“Stop it,” his soft voice interrupts her thoughts and she turns to face him. “You’re over thinking things again,” he leans his hands against the door, either side of her shoulders, and bends his head to kiss her._

_It comforts her and makes her feel all warm inside and she slowly wraps her arms up around his neck to deepen the kiss. His hands settle on her waist and she can feel his thumbs gently caress her skin just below the hemline of her blouse, making her shiver and whine._

_He pulls away and studies her beautiful face._

_“I have something I want to talk to you about,” he sighs, “I-I’m not_ sure _about something and ... well, you know I’ve valued your opinion since the first moment I met you, but ...” he runs a hand through his hair, “well it matters now more than ever. I kind of need you to tell me what to do...”_

_She hushes him kindly and brushes his floppy fringe from his face._

_“It’s alright, darling,” she pushes him off her and guides him to her tiny sofa, curling up next to him. “What is it?”_

_“Well, I’m not sure I want to talk about it yet,” he huffs._

_“Why not?”_

_“It’s sort of a painful subject...well, no, not_ painful _but, I don’t know...it’s...” he shakes his head, stroking a hand down her leg that she has tucked up underneath her, and pulling it round and into his lap._

_She smiles fondly and follows his lead, shifting her weight so that she can place both feet in his lap. She knows it comforts him, by now, he likes to stroke and kiss and massage her feet and ankles while he tells her things he finds difficult to talk about. And she just listens._

_He doesn’t speak though. His thumbs press against the aching balls of her feet and he breathes deeply as he thinks, distracting her from the fact that he has something he really needs to say. His warm hands stroke over her ankles and up her calves and she lets a quiet moan slip from her lips._

_Before she knows it he is on her, kissing her; their tongues battling for dominance and he begins to undress her._

_“No, wait,” she pants as she gasps for breath._

_“What?” he glances up at her, concern in his eyes._

_She cups his face and strokes her thumb along his cheekbone. “You had something you need to talk about, darling...”_

_“It can wait,” he replies, lifting her in his arms and carrying her over to the bed._

_“Are you sure?” she raises an eyebrow. She knows if he gets too distracted then he’ll forget all about it and never bring it up again. But it seemed to worry him and she needs to know why and what it is he needs to discuss._

_“Definitely,” he groans at the sight of her splayed out beneath him in only her matching black lacy underwear._

_She rolls her eyes and gives in to him, because really, she is so turned on right now that she probably wouldn’t hear a word he said if they decided to talk._

_It’s not until afterwards; once he has given her three mindblowing orgasms and they have both collapsed with exhaustion, tangled up in one another, and have finally caught their breaths again, that he speaks._

_“I need to leave,” he states simply. At first Alex doesn’t know whether he means_ right now _or if he is talking about the thing he needed to talk about, and her heart skips a beat as she thinks he means at that very moment._

_“Why, sweetie?” she rolls over him a little so she can see his face and rests her arm over his chest._

_“Well, I can’t really stay forever can I?”_

_“Um...right. But, you need to leave now?” she shifts her weight over him a little more, to make it harder for him to leave. Although she knows that really it would be easy for him to lift her off him and just walk out, if he really wanted to._

_“No, not right now, obviously, I’d need to tell Steven first and be written out of the script,” he bops her on the nose._

_“Ooh... I see...” she nods as she catches on. Relief filling her and a small smile creeps across her face._

_“What? What did you think I meant?”_

_“Nothing, never mind. Doesn’t matter,” she shakes her head, feeling silly. She likes him an awful lot more than she should. Probably more than he likes her. What they have started out as a way to relieve the tension from all their flirting on set. They’d seek each other out and relieve each other occasionally when River and the Doctor became too much. And then they saw more and more of each other; to the point that they practically shared a trailer when they were on set together._

_They rarely went out together – not wanting news and magazines to pick up the fact that they were seeing each other. And they almost never stood together for photos and interviews when they were_ all _out for premieres and doing bits for the press etc._

 _Then it hits her. He does mean he needs to leave the show; leave Doctor Who. They barely see each other at all when they’re not on set together. She goes back to LA most of the time and they both get involved in other projects (or she does and he is still stuck filming Doctor Who) if he leaves the show, it’ll be like_ that _and they’ll see so little of each other it’ll hardly be worth it._

_“So, you’re thinking of leaving Doctor Who?” she asks._

_“Yes,” he looks at her solemnly and she decides she must be strong. It would be good for him to get away from the show – he’s a brilliant actor and has so much potential – if he gets stuck as the Doctor much longer he’ll become branded – typecast – and that is never good for an actor’s career._

_So she tells him as such._

_It’ll be difficult when he leaves –_ if _he decides to leave – but it’ll be good for him. He’ll miss the show and the people, hopefully he’ll miss her enough to continue what they have, or maybe even make it more official. She shakes her head of such thoughts as they both drift off to sleep. He sees her as a good friend, a fuck buddy and a mentor by the sounds of the conversation they just had._

_He’s come to her as the wise, old friend who knows a lot about the business and can advise him on what would be best for his career. What he doesn’t realise is that while the professional part of her can tell him he needs to leave the show and move on, the emotional, sentimental, weak part of her – the real Alex inside – is screaming for him to stay. Even if he doesn’t stay with Doctor Who; to please, stay with her._

She downs the rest of her glass and flicks the television of. What’s done is done. If she gave any hints about anything, she is sorry and she didn’t mean to but she can’t do anything about it now.

Her phone buzzes on the coffee table and she smiles as she sees Matt’s familiar smirk light up the screen.

“Hello darling,” she greets him warmly.

“You looked beautiful,” he states in reply and her stomach flutters at his words. “You told me you’d rushed from rehearsal and were running late and that you looked terrible.”

“Well...”

“Don’t.” He warns, “You could maybe do your own eye make-up in the future – it doesn’t need to be so dark – but you were stunning.”

“Thank you, sweetie,” she mumbles quietly, still not accustomed to compliments.

“Almost gave us away though, didn’t you,” he hides a laugh.

“What? I-I... no I didn’t,” she admonishes. She has re-watched that part of the interview seven times now and was quite certain nothing was really hinted.

“Well, _nearly,_ you easily could have with a couple more, strategically placed words,” he teases.

“But I _didn’t_ ,” she insists.

“I’m sure our fans will be deliberating over your meaning for days on end,” he chuckles.

“That may be,” she huffs, “but there is no proof on that show.”

“No,” he smiles fondly, “you did good.”

“Thank you,” she pouts.

“So, I just wanted to say you looked beautiful and to wish you ... well... ‘break a leg’ with your play.”

“Thank you, darling,” she smiles, “and good luck with the rest of the Fiftieth filming.”

“Thanks. It’s going well,” he mutters.

“And I’ll see you for the Christmas special,” her voice is quiet as she contemplates what that means. It will be his last episode. Then he is gone from Doctor Who. And maybe even from her life. She lives in hope though.

“Indeed,” his voice also seems quieter before he takes a deep breath, “Take care Kingston – let me know how it goes.”

“You too, Matt,” she sighs. And he hangs up.

Two months later they find each other on the set for the last scene of the Christmas Special. The scene in which the Doctor regenerates.

“Last scene then, sweetie,” Alex tries to lighten the mood a little. “Are you ready?”

“No,” he states shortly and she can’t quite read the look in his eyes, before he takes his mark.

The scene goes well. River holds Clara close as she watches the Doctor die and regenerate. She knows it happens, she knows what he’ll look like afterwards as she has seen him before – all in the wrong order – but that doesn’t stop it from being emotional.

Alex finds the scene easy in that sense. She can be emotional about her Doctor leaving, because she _is_ emotional about Matt leaving, and she channels that sorrow into River.

He is spectacular as always and Alex has never felt more proud of him. He says his thanks and goodbyes to people and promises to see them at the wrap party later.

They both attend and Matt seems to have a ball. He is looking forward to moving on to new and exciting things. He’d just done a film earlier in the year in America and can’t wait to get stuck in to more things like that. He will miss Doctor Who, but that is a chapter of his life that he must now close. It is time to move on.

Alex joins in with the celebrations and congratulations as best she can, acting the whole way through – don’t get her wrong, she is happy for him, his career has just begun and he has so much going for him. But she isn’t happy. Inside, she doesn’t want him to leave. But she could never tell him that – he doesn’t see her as a long term thing. They see each other when they act together, just to find some sort of release. It is not a relationship. And although he may sometimes call her his girlfriend, he doesn’t really mean it. He means his ‘on set shag’ or something else along those lines. She was just stupid for allowing herself to develop feelings for the clumsy idiot.

She leaves the party early. Not saying goodbye to anyone, especially him. She thinks it would hurt too much. He doesn’t seem to notice her go anyway.

She is back home, on her sofa, with a glass of wine – that seems to be becoming a bit of a habit – watching their last kiss as River and the Doctor as shown at the beginning of the one show, when there is a knock at her door.

She rewinds the kiss and watches it again, determined to ignore whoever was calling in on her at this hour. She is emotional right now, and a sad old woman; desperately hanging on to the memory of that wonderful kiss, she does not feel like talking to anyone.

But the knocker is insistent and she huffs as she pauses the screen; his hands over her jaw, fingers caressing the skin behind her ear (only she knew about that, no one could see because of her hair), his lips hard and insistent against hers and oh how she’d wished she could run her tongue along them and part them, allow him to explore her mouth and make her knees buckle. But of course they were on set, so... They’d just had to wait until they were both _off set_.

She hears the knock again, louder this time as she approaches the door.

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” she calls out in exasperation, opening the door.

“Not yet I hope,” he smirks, “at least let me in to watch?”

“Oh, you idiot,” she swats at his chest, clenching her fist in this shirt and pulling him through the door.

“Someone’s eager,” he chuckles as he kicks the door shut behind him and falls against her, pressing her up against the wall.

“I need you,” she sighs between furious kisses, “I don’t want you to go.”

He pulls back suddenly and stills her hands with his, looking deep into her eyes.

“I’m...” he begins, shaking his head in disbelief. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“What do you mean?” she pants, “You’re leaving Doctor Who – you just regenerated – you can’t change your mind _now_.”

“No, I mean...” he huffs and his fringe flies out of his face on the puff of air. “I mean, yes...”

“Very eloquent, darling,” she giggles, brushing his fringe out of his eyes.

“Shush you,” he chuckles. “I _am_ leaving Doctor Who, yes.”

“I know,” her brow creases in confusion as to what he was trying to get at.

“But I’m not _going_ anywhere,” he tucks a stray curl behind her ear.

“I er...” she licks her lips, “I don’t understand.”

“I’m not leaving _you_ ,” he clarifies.

Her breath hitches and she chokes on a sob. Does he really mean what she thinks he means?

“I love you, Alex,” he strokes her cheeks and along her jaw, dropping an affectionate kiss to her forehead. “I am _never_ leaving you.” He pulls her lips to his then, showing her just how much he means what he says and his hands move to her waist to steady her as her knees do indeed buckle.

She whimpers against his mouth and feels a single tear roll down her cheek.

“I thought you would have had enough of me and just walked away from ‘us’ when you left the show,” she mumbles as she catches her breath.

“Of course not,” he shakes his head, “Oh you silly woman, what did you think this was? I love you. I’ve loved you for a long time if I’m honest. I was just always too scared to say it.”

“Matt...?”

He places a finger over her lips to shush her. “But now, I think I’m more scared of losing you and never seeing you again than admitting how I feel. I just... I needed you to know.”

She stares at him. Searching his eyes for what seems like ages. Trying to take in everything he just said. And a dazzling smile creeps across her face.

“I love you, too,” she finally hears herself say and it surprises her almost as much as it surprises him. She is elated. He loves her and now she can finally tell him how she feels.

“You do?”

“I do,” she nods vehemently and pulls him down for another kiss.

He lifts her and carries her through to her bedroom, gently letting her down onto the covers of her bed. He crawls over her and they slowly strip each other of their clothes, worshipping every bit of skin bared.

Eventually he slips inside her and holds her in his arms as they rock together; sharing kisses and caresses as he brings her toward her climax. She wraps her legs around him to keep him close and he brushes sweat-damp curls from her face as he whispers, “I love you.”

She whimpers as he kisses her and she breaks away to stifle her cry in the skin of his shoulder as she comes. He follows her soon after and rests his forehead against hers as he returns to his senses.

He made love to her that night. Before, it had always been fast and frantic, and only with the aim of reaching release. But this time was slow and gentle, he poured all his emotions in and she accepted them and showed him her own. It was their love for one another that finally brought them over the edge.

He kissed her again before rolling off her and in that moment, she knew, he wasn’t going _any_ where.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos are wonderful and comments even better :) x


End file.
